CARRIE TILTON | opinion editor

Since the first day of school I have been unbelievably stressed. I have two jobs, 16 units and, as an English major, way too much reading. I am pressed to find time to study for the GRE and apply to grad school and finding myself struggling to stay afloat academically. I have drowned in the stress many times over the past few weeks and have tried to convince myself that things aren’t as busy as they really are.

After talking to many friends I discovered that all of us seniors are over-committed and stressed. We all agree that this year the stress is different. This year the stress no longer seems manageable. I don’t know if this is because we are all focused on over-achieving before we enter the “real world,” if we are simply in our last year as an undergrad or if we have continued to submit to the over-committed culture of APU.

What I do know is that I never wanted this busyness for my senior year. Every year I have been very involved with campus activities and I promised myself last year that during my last semester I would simply take classes and spend the rest of my time hanging out with friends and preparing for graduation. Yet somewhere between the end of last year and the beginning of this one, great opportunities arose that I did not want to turn down.

The problem with busy schedules is that we lose ourselves in them. All semester I have been hearing about the biblical importance of keeping the Sabbath. It took me three weeks to find a block of time, but last Thursday I spent the evening doing exactly what I wanted – not homework – and had a night of my own Sabbath. I felt so whole and like myself the next day.

I think part of the purpose of the Sabbath is that it reconnects the “autopilot you” with the “spiritual you.” When we can’t rest and relax we forget who we are, what we love and what is important in life. This semester I have felt so lost and confused about what I want because I haven’t had time to just be.

I am reading Madeleine L’Engle’s book “Walking on Water” for a class and she often writes of taking time for yourself. She says, “I’ve long since stopped feeling guilty about taking being time; it’s something we all need for our spiritual health, and often we don’t take enough of it.”

These words are so true, yet I can’t help but feel guilty when I attempt some down time because other things aren’t getting done. I want to make “being time” a priority, but I don’t know when or how or if it’s possible. What I do know is that if I don’t I will lose myself in busyness and, come graduation day, I will finally notice the stranger in the mirror.