BRITTANY FJUGSTAD | guest writer

Men need to stop goofing around and have dates that don't involve the word 'caf' to be worth our attention.

If the ever-increasing and slightly disproportional “APU ratio” isn’t surprising to you, you’re either a guy or you’re studying too hard.

We’ve all seen it: one APU male surrounded by five or six lovely females. Sure, we shake our heads, maybe laugh, but are APU girls really worried that all the “good guys” were taken by the first week of freshman year? Or more importantly, does anyone care?

The thought I had, however, wasn’t about the ratio. I want to know, where are the real men?

Some smart, beautiful, women of God were asked what they thought about APU men and asked if they were willing to share any of their guy stories and were also asked what they thought APU boys were lacking.

The most common responses were: initiative, manliness, the ability to see women as equals, direction, maturity, and a personality outside of Facebook and AIM.
These women were also asked to provide one adjective to describe APU guys collectively. Girls replied with such answers as: awkward, misled, shallow, apathetic, clueless, mama’s boys and, a positive one, respectful.

Another common complaint among APU ladies was that they felt guys could not have authentic relationships with girls because they’re constantly spouse hunting or generally have “ulterior motives.”

“Whether it be romantic or manipulative, something else is always at play,” sophmore political science major Annie Berry said.

There also seems to be a lot of pressure to fit the mold of the perfect Christian wife... and hurry up! Ideally, choosing your spouse should be a bigger decision than how many vanilla pumps to get at Starbucks.

“These boys seem to think that just because of the rumored ‘ring by spring’ mentality, women are only meant to fit the stereotypical Christian woman type. Not all of us want to be pastors wives, pop out little juniors and sit in [our husbands’] trophy cabinets,” Berry said.

Many of my friends voiced having pressure to “go steady” because they have roommates that are dating and they end up feeling like the third wheel.

My beautiful roommates currently do not have boyfriends, and we love being single together. But I wonder if all my roommates were dating if I would feel like the third wheel as well. I wonder if that sort of thing makes a difference.

There is one thing, however, that APU girls seem to agree on when it comes to the persistence of APU men.

“All the good ones are taken, and the rest are [creepy]. All the guys you don’t want attention from are annoyingly aggressive; all the guys you would be interested in don’t get the hint,” sophomore business administration major Tori Silverman said.

To give this article a slightly more positive spin, what are some simple things the struggling APU guys can do to be seen in a more positive light by their fellow singles?
Besides stepping outside of themeselves, many girls suggested that guys be more open to casual dating. And no, “caf” dates and coffee shop “DTRs” don’t count.

Before this article turns into an all out guy-bashing fest, which honestly is not productive or fair, I would like to say that we all know there are some guys out there that should not be verbally bashed by the woman population on campus. I have not lost hope in all APU men. Despite the overwhelmingly negative outlook of single men, there are nice, single guys out there who have a lot to offer.

So ladies, don’t be discouraged. Trust me when I say that being desperate is so much worse than being single.

Besides, being single has its benefits: you won’t be teased about being a future “ring by springer” or having “DTRs”, life is overall a lot less stressful, and you will probably get much better grades, because we all know that having a boyfriend should be a 4 unit course, and frankly, not all of us have room in our course load for that kind of time.