The Clause

Actors Dev Patel (left), Madhur Mittal, Freida Pinto, Saurabh Shukla, and Anil Kapoor from Slumdog Millionaire celebrated seven Academy awards on Saturday, Feb. 22, including Best Picture.

Disclaimer: This piece was written as a prediction of awards before the Oscars aired.

Before we look at this year’s Oscar nominations, realize that the Oscars are not based on the actual merit of the movies, but on the preferences of the Academy judges.

Now that we all realize the injustice of the world, let us take a deep breath and move on.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button came in with the most nominations this year, a grand total of 13. Slumdog Millionaire followed close behind, with 10 nominations. The Dark Knight came in third with eight nominations.

Here’s a few who won my vote.

Actor in a supporting role:
I would love to see Heath Ledger get the Oscar for The Dark Knight. That truly was the performance of a lifetime.

However, Philip Seymour Hoffman did a wonderful job playing a priest who is a possible child molester in Doubt. Josh Brolin played an assassin well in Milk—perhaps too well.

But, if Heath Ledger doesn’t get the award, I hope it goes to Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder. Comedies rarely get awards, and Downey was hilarious.

Actress in a Supporting Role:
I hope Penélope Cruz wins. She was awesome in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. She plays an unbalanced ex-wife, and is in fun to watch, albeit rather frightening at times. If Cruz loses, I hope Tomei wins.

Animated Feature Film:
Judging from years past, it doesn’t look like this will be much of a contest. Pixar has established a monopoly on this award.

The movies in the running against Wall-E are Bolt (which I’ve never heard of until now) and Kung-Fu Panda. I think it’s safe to say Wall-E has it in the bag.

Art Direction:
This is pretty much a snobbish way of saying set design. The Duchess, set in 18th century England, had a beautiful and intricate set. It truly deserves this award.

I don’t know what extraordinary sets were created in Revolutionary Road or Changeling, but there must have been something cool that we all missed.

Cinematography:
If I were the Academy, this category would not even be listed because The Dark Knight would have already won. The director of photography was a genius at conveying emotion through camerawork.

If any other movie wins in this category, I will be convinced that the Academy hates me.

Directing:
I vote for Slumdog Millionaire. It was the most novel of the movies in this category. I like to see the underdog win. Get it? Slumdog, underdog? Never mind.

Film Editing:
The editor of The Dark Knight was brilliant. Do you see a pattern emerging here? I really enjoyed The Dark Knight. It should win, hands down.

Makeup:
Either The Dark Knight or Benjamin Button deserves to win.

As for Hellboy, I am surprised that the Academy deigned to watch it long enough to notice the makeup.

Best Picture:
Slumdog Millionaire was an unknown picture with unknown actors that came out of nowhere to nab the most coveted award in cinema culture. Just for that, I think it deserves to win.

Animated Short Film & Live Action Short Film:
I was not previously aware that any of these movies existed. However, from the titles, I would pick La Maison En Petits Cubes for animated short film and Auf Der Strecke for live action short film.

Why? Simply because those titles are awesome. Sometimes I think that’s how the Academy chooses winners too.

Sound Editing:
I would vote for Wall-E. It is ridiculously hard to edit sound to animated pictures and the person who did this film deserves way more than a little golden statue. However, we will work with what we have.

Sound Mixing:
Again, I vote for Wall-E. Think of sound editing to animation like pinning the tail on a donkey. Except there are 24 donkeys. Every second. And at least 24 tails. Don’t forget to add music too. Now try doing that for one and a half hours worth of film. If you survive, you deserve an award.

Adapted Screenplay Writing:
Frost/Nixon or The Reader deserves the award. However, I think Slumdog Millionaire will win. It won’t crush me.

Original Screenplay Writing:
In Bruges is the best-written original screenplay. The dialogue in that movie was incredibly creative. Wall-E was on the same level, and is pretty much tied for the award. If either movie wins, the world will be right once again.